I Can't Let Go
by Higher Ground Bee
Summary: It's S&S. That should be enough to get some readers. Anyway.Something's happened to Scott's dad. Could Elaine be responsible? This is a set up for a storyline with an Elaine twist in it. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!, I wrote this a very long time ago and d
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters portrayed in this fic except for Carly and Annie Barringer, and there may be other characters entering later.If you don't recognize the name... I own them too!

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AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Okay..this story is going to be semi unrealistic...It changes some of the stuff that happened around..but I hope you like it anyway.Scott and Shelby are gonna be going through some rough times in this story..but REST ASSURE they will be okay and together in the end, I PROMISE so don't get all cat scratch fever on me!This is original..and there's nothing like it that's been posted.

I Can't Let Go

Ch. 1

_If you never felt pain....then how would you know that there is healing?_

_-Anonymous_

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It was 7 A.M. on a December morning.The Barringer household was sleeping peacefully. All but Shelby.Shelby was up and adam every morning at 6, no matter the day.She had a family to think about now.Two daughters and a husband.

She put the coffee on the burner, and then headed into the living room of their upper middle class suburban home, grabbed their cat, and plopped down into Scott's recliner.This was the only time she had to herself. 

She had her routine in the morning.Put the coffee on, start breakfast, and then cuddle with the family cat, Soup, until Scott woke.No one saw her cuddle Soup like this.Whenever Scott or the girls were around she acted like she hated the darn thing.Always talked about how they should get rid of it, but she really did love the cat.

She scratched Soup's ears and he purred wildly.Scott walked groggily into the room scratching his head and yawning.She threw the cat down abruptly and it made a frantic mew as it landed with a loud thump on the carpeting.Scott froze and looked at her.

"What? I wasn't doing anything. I was only getting it off the furniture." She snapped.He smiled slyly and nodded continuing his walk to the kitchen."I was!" she said getting up and following him."And I'll thank you not to look at me that way!"

"I didn't say a word." He said pouring coffee into a mug.

"No, but you implied it." She argued.

"I didn't _IMPLY_ anything, Shel." He laughed and sat down at the kitchen table.She sat down across from him and crossed her arms over her chest."What are you so worried about? That I saw you cuddling with Soup?" he said quickly and then filled his mouth with coffee.She sat up abruptly and then uncrossed her arms.

"I was doing no such thing!" she exclaimed loudly.

"Oh, cut the crap Shels! I see you every morning!"

"Oh, I don't believe it! You're spying on me?!" she laughed, pieces of her blonde hair falling out of her ponytail.

"Not exactly.......I just watch you when you don't know I'm watching."

"It's the same thing!" she laughed.He shrugged and smiled.

"It's the same way...like when we were at Horizon...you would pretend not to care about anything.It's all an act.You care.You just don't like showing it to anybody.You're afraid they'll see.... or at least think they know....how weak you really are.I know you're not weak, Shelby.I know how strong you are, so please don't hide yourself from me."He said quietly, reading into everything.That was exactly it.No one could have said it better.

"How can someone know more about me than I know myself?" she asked him.

"Sometimes I wonder the same thing."They both sat for a moment, getting lost in the moment when a loud thump coming from upstairs interrupted their quiet.They both looked at the ceiling.Shelby set her coffee down on the table. 

"The girls are awake." She stated the obvious.Scott nodded.

"They'll be down any second." He replied.As if on cue, the two little girls came bouncing into the kitchen.They had deep blue eyes and medium length blonde hair.Scott was sometimes in awe at how much, even at such a young age, they looked like their mother.

"Good morning." 3 year old Annie Barringer sang happily climbing onto a stool, followed by her twin, Carly

"Good morning, girls." Shelby said and smiled warmly."Can I get you something to drink?"

"No." Annie said flatly.

"Carly?" Shelby offered.

"No thank you, Mommy.Could I please have some cereal?" she asked politely.

"Yes you may." She said returning her daughter's politeness.She got up and fixed Carly a bowl of Cheerios. She set it down in front ofCarly with a spoon."and Carly Marie Barringer, if u stick one more Cherrio up your nose- -" the shrill ring of the phone interrupted her.She glanced at the phone and started inching towards it continuing to yell over the ring"we won't buy them anymore! This is your last warning."She grabbed the phone off the hook and put it to her ear."Hello?"Silence on the other end of the line."Hello?"

"Hello, is this the Barringer residence?"

"Yes it is.Can I ask who's calling?"

"My name is Jana Macintire.You don't know me.I'm afraid....I have some bad news.But first, may I inquire who I am speaking to?"

"Uh..T-this is Mrs. Shelby Barringer." She stammered.

"I see.Are you...Scott Barringer's wife?"

"Yes ma'am. Can I ask what this is ABOUT?!" she asked getting frightened.

"It's about your father in law.Martin Barringer."

"What about him?! Has something happened?!"

"Maybe it's best if I tell Mr. Barringer...."

"LOOK lady...Martin is my family too and I think I have right to know what the hell is going on here!"She yelled.Scott sat up in his chair and got a worried look on his face.

"Was." The voice on the other line said.

"Huh?" Shelby said

"He _was_ your family." She said meekly."Martin died early this morning."

Shelby wasn't sure if she had heard correctly.But she knew she had.She was shell shocked.The phone dropped from her hand and hit the kitchen floor and then slid across the floor.

"Shelby?!" she heard Scott's voice in the distance somewhere.She couldn't understand it.She had just talked to Martin yesterday. How could this be? She slid down and held her knees close to her chest and tried to force herself out of this world.

"Mommy?" Annie said, sounding upset.

"Carly, Annie, please just sit there quietly.Daddy's gonna take care of everything.I'm gonna take care of everything."Scott said getting up.He grabbed the phone off of the floor."Hello?"

"H-hello? Mr. Barringer?"

"Yes?What's going on!?"

"I'm sorry son...your father....he died this morning." She repeated the grave news.Scott felt as if the whole world had fallen out from underneath him.

"How?" he fought back tears.

"Natural causes." She said sympathetically.Scott got a pained look on his face."I'm sorry.Do you have plans to come up here and make the arrangements?"There was silence.

"Um..I'll be there.Tell my mom I'll be there as soon as I can."

"I'll do that.Again....I'm sorry.I understand your pain."

"You couldn't possibly." He said and hung up.He set the phone down on the table.He looked up."Shelby?" he asked.She raised her head up from her knees.Tears were running down her face."Oh God, Shelby." He said and somehow got to where she was sitting, gathered her shaking body into his arms and comforted her.She clung to him, not ever wanting to let go.

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Soon: The plans and arrival at the funeral.Scott discovers the truth....could ELAINE have anything to do with Martin's death? Haha..so I gave it away....well....there's gonna be a MAJOR twist in this!PLEASE REVIEW PLEASE REVIEW PLEASE REVIEW.If you want me to continue I need motivation....at least 10. Thanx. It;s 2 A.M.....so I'll post and go to bed.I'm sooo sleepy!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Hey all my fellow Higher Ground lovers.........sorry....I don't ownthis show or the characters in it.But let's get ONE THING STRAIGHT.....IF I DID OWN THEM THEY WOULD BE RENEWED ALREADY, JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FOR REAL!!!

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Okay....I AM SO SORRY! I LIED! I SAID IF I GOT 15 REVIEWS I WOULD POST AND I DIDN'T.I HAD FAMILY COME IN UNEXPECTED AND I NEVER SEE THEM, SO I HAD TO GO OUT WITH THEM. DO YOU FORGIVE ME??? I'M POSTING AS SOON AS I CAN!!!!

OH YEAH!

BIG CONGRATS TO MY FRIEND **BRAD ALLEN**. WRESTLING CHAMP! RANKED 4TH IN THE STATE IN HIS WEIGHT CLASS FOR 17 YEAR OLDS AS OF SATURDAY!GO BRAD!!! ALSO BIG CONGRATS TO MY FRIEND **TY CODY** WHO PLACED 3RD IN HIS WRESTLING CHAMPIONSHIP SATURDAY! GO TY! SORRY I COULDN'T BE THERE! I LOVE YOU GUYS...AND BRAD...WHEN U GET THAT SCHOLARSHIP TO ISU (IOWA STATE UNIVERSITY) YOU'VE BEEN GOING FOR, YOU BETTER KEEP IN TOUCH!THAT'S A MILLION MILES AWAY FROM LITTLE ME IN TENNESSEE! Oh yeah...Brad..you're hot. I was kidding yesterday when I said u weren't!!!

_Okay......sorry about that. I just had to tell them I am proud of them.Oh yeah...and girls...Brad really is hot!_

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I Can't Let Go

Chapter 2

When Shelby was calmed down and had stopped her crying, they gathered the girls up and took them into the living room.They set them down side by side on the couch.Scott sat in the recliner across from them and Shelby sat on the armof the recliner next to Scott.

"Uhhh...girls...that was...one of grandpa's friends on the phone."Scott started.

"Oh...why did she make mommy cry?" Carly asked, her big blue eyes filled with confusion.

"Um, Carly, sweetheart.....that's the thing." Scott said getting nervous.He ran a hand through his hair, as he always did when he was keeping something from his family.Shelby had begun to notice Annie doing the same thing.She acted so much like Scott.Most of her mannerisms and her outlook on things were identical to Scott's, while Carly was more like Shelby.Shelby glanced at Scott who looked like he could absolutely lose it at any time and took over.

"Girls, remember when you were in Sunday school and they were talking about how everyone, when God is ready, goes up to Heaven to be with him?"

"Yeah, so..." Annie sighed and leaned back, getting bored with the conversation, from the simple fact that she just didn't understand what was going on.

"Well...Ann...God came and took Grandpa this morning." Shelby said

"Grandpa went to heaven?" Carly asked with a puzzled look on her face

"Yeah."Shelby said and forced a fake smile.

"Well...is he happy?" Carly asked furrowing her little brow and looking a lot like Scott.

"I'm sure he is, baby."Shelby said quietly and nodded quickly.

"Then..can we go play?" Annie asked.They didn't really understand.To them it was just as if he had moved.They didn't realize they would never see him again.

Shelby nodded and watched them run up the stairs to play.She slid down into Scott's lap and wrapped her arms around his neck, and leaned her head on his.He held her around her waist.

"That went well?" he asked her.

"Yeah, cowboy, it did." She said.There was a long pause."They don't really understand, though."

"I don't want them to."He said."To understand this is to feel it.I don't want them to feel this kind of pain."Shelby kissed his forehead."We need to make arrangements to get up there." He said after a long silence.

"I know.Do you want me to do it?" she offered.

"No.He was my dad.I got it." She nodded.

"Okay." And she patted him on the shoulder

"Well, I better hop to it.There's a lot of stuff to do." He said and then he stood up.Shelby slid off him into the chair.She watched as he slowly made his way to the kitchen mumbling things to himself.She bit her lip.She hated seeing him in so much pain.If she could take it all from him and bear it herself, she would.But she couldn't, and she knew it.She had enough to deal with herself.Shelby sat, listening to the sound of Scott's voice as he called all the appropriate places.About a half an hour later he emerged from the kitchen.

"We leave tomorrow at 7:55 A.M. from the airport and the flight gets in at 4:23 P.M. in Vancouver.We're gonna stay with my mom." He explained.Shelby nodded.

"Is she okay with suddenly having 4 extra people in her house?" Shelby asked, a little worried about Susan.

"I think she needs us there, Shelb.She's takin this pretty hard." He said

"I would imagine so."She replied.They sat in silence for a few minutes.Shelby was trying to figure out some words of wisdom to give Scott, but she couldn't come up with anything.Like she always knew, what Peter had told her at Horizon, went in one ear and out the other.She only remembered the stuff that had applied to _her_ messed up life."Scott..I don't know what to say to make you feel better." She said getting up and standing next to him.

"Then don't say anything." He said."Just....hold me, Shel."

"Next time why don't you ask for something a little tougher, huh?" she said, pulling him into a hug that lasted forever.He buried his face in her hair and breathed in deeply.

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After packing that night, Scott and Shelby sat quietly in front of a blazing fire in the fireplace of their living room.

"Are you gonna go to the funeral?" Shelby asked quietly.Scott sighed deeply.

"Yeah.I feel like I owe it to my dad.I need some closure, too."Silence."God, I'm gonna miss him." He said shakily."I never thought this would happen.I mean..I knew he would die, but not now.I wasn't prepared, I wasn't ready for it."

"Who ever is, Scott?That's why you have to say what you need to say and tell people how much they mean to you today.You never knew when they'll be gone." She said

"Boy, did I learn that lesson too late." He said with a slight edge in his voice.

"It's never too late to tell peoplewhat they mean to you." She replied.

"Shelb..my dad's dead..."

"But, Scott, where he is..I'm sure he can hear you."With that she patted his leg and went upstairs to check on Carly and Annie.Scott pondered this thought for a minute.He decided to take her advice while he was alone in the quiet of the living room.As he talked he began feeling kind of stupid, but he pressed on anyway.

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"Hey dad.It's me, Scott.If you can hear me...I never said it, really...I love you, and I'm gonna miss you...ALOT.I know when I was a teenager...before Horizon....I was terrible, I know....and I put you through hell.For that I am sorry.I never meant....for anything like what happened to happen.But it did and I'm sorry.I just wish you could be here to see the girls grow up....that's what you're really missing out on.And Shelby wants another baby.A boy.So, dad, ever though you're not here...promise me you'll be watching and I'll be happy." He finished.He leaned back and listened to the silence.

A few seconds later there was a loud bang coming from upstairs and Shelby's voice rang out.He looked at the cieling as if it were the source of the sound.

"OH ANNIE! YOU DON'T GIVE A CAT A BATH IN THE TOILET!"she yelled.Scott laughed to himself.Her voice got louder."SCOTT, WE'RE GONNA NEED A PLUNGER UP HERE HON!"

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Okay...so this is setting up for next chapter.Believe it or not, but this chapter will be important later in the story, so make sure you read it carefully. Please review!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters...and that totally sucks! And if I use a song....I don't own it either!

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OKAY WELL,I DIDN'T GET AS MANY REVIEWS LAST TIME AS I HAD HOPED. :(It's okay I know everyone is busy around this time of the year. BUT PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!

I Can't Let Go :

Ch 3

The family got up early the next morning and got ready to leave for the airport.The girls were half asleep when they loaded them into the car fallowed by the luggage.They slept most of the way to the airport.It was easy, because silence filled the car.Scott didn't say a word, just gripped the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles were white, and stared straight ahead.Shelby had thought to try to stir up a little conversation, but she knew it wouldn't be reciprocated so she just kept quiet.Scott was in pain, and on edge, and the least little thing might set him off at any given time.

They arrived at the airport within 45 minutes, and made all the arrangements with their luggage.When they boarded the plane, Shelby apprehensively allowed the two girls to sit in the two seats alone, even though it was right across the row.She was always paranoid with the girls, but she decided after a long argument with herself that Scott really did not need to sit next to one of the girls and be bothered by her for the whole trip.

Shelby took the seat next to Scott after getting the girls settled in right across from them.She glanced at him.He was staring down at a Sports Illustrated (TM).He had been staring for 10 minutes, never moving his eyes, never turning the page.

"Scott, uh, you've been on page 14 for 10 minutes.Are you gonna be okay?" Shelby asked him.

"Um, yeah, I'll be fine." He sighed, and shut the magazine.He threw it down on top of his bag.

Shelby regretted saying anything to him.He almost looked mad now, looking out the window.But he wasn't mad at her.He was mad at the world for turning its back on him.For everything that had happened to him.But most of all, he was mad that he couldn't do a thing about it.All Shelby had ever done was love him, but it would take him a while to figure that one out.

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5:00 P.M. Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada

Scott slammed the trunk of the rental car shut and grabbed two suitcases from the ground.He would come back for the rest later.Shelby was busy getting the girls out of the car.He walked up the narrow path to his mother's house.She had flowers planted, bordering the walkway and the porch.He climbed the steps, paused in front of the door, and then set the suitcases down.He knocked hard, three timed on the door.After a minute, Susan Boyd answered the door, the biggest smile she could possibly have on her face was there, considering the circumstances.

"Scott."She said.She pulled him into a hug.She didn't cry though.She was strong.Scott returned it.When they parted, Scott gave her a small smile.

Shelby came up the walkway, holding the girls hands, but when they saw Susan, they broke away.

"Grandma!" Annie said, and took off running up the stairs.Carly followed.Shelby smiled and tucked her hair behind her ears.By the time she had reached the porch and was standing next to Scott, Susan was crouching on the ground, hugging both the girls at the same time.She chuckled to herself.

"Gee, Scott, do you think they love her?" she asked him.The only reply he gave her was a smirk and a slight nod of the head.Susan stood up, gave Shelby a hug, and then invited them in.

They all got settled, and Shelby put the girls down for a nap.They protested saying they weren't sleepy, but Shelby knew better.

"Listen girls, I was born on a dark night, but I wasn't born last night." She said to them.

"Huh?" Carly asked.Shelby smiled.

"Don't worry about it.Just go to sleep." She kissed each of them, left the room, and joined Scott and Susan in the living room.

Susan told them that around 7:00 they would have the receiving of friends.

"What the heck's a receiving of friends?" Shelby asked, restraining herself from saying hell.She wanted to make a good impression on Scott's mom.

"It's like where...people come...and they give their condolences." Susan said

"Do we have to do it today?" Scott asked getting agitated.

"Scott, honey, I'm sorry but this is the only day I can do it.I know this is hard, but let's just get over it, huh?" she said to him.He nodded, agreeing to make an appearance, and not lock himself in the guest room like he had done at his grandmother's funeral.

There was a wave of silence in the room.Susan looked uncomfortable.Scott looked at her and noticed this."Mom, are you okay?" he asked her.

"Actually...Scott....there's something I have to tell you." She started.Scott raised his eyebrows and motioned with his hand for her to go on."Your father's will...." she trailed off.

"What about Dad's will?" he asked, getting interested.

"See.....the thing is.....he didn't leave anything to you.Or the girls....or Shelby or me." She said.

"What? Well who did he leave it all to?" Scott asked. He was surprised, and even a little hurt. Martin had told him a long time ago that Scott and Shelby would get ¾ of his money for themselves and their children, and Susan would get ½. He had even told Scott that the estate he lived in would belong to him.

"Elaine." She said quietly. "He left every penny and his estate to Elaine."

This hit Scott hard. Why Elaine, of all people? Why? After what she did to his family....Scott didn't understand. But he would soon. 

As soon as Elaine walked through the door at 7:00 when people started arriving for the receiving of friends, Scott cornered her. "What did you do?" he growled at her.

"What do you mean, Scottie?" she asked him, jerking out if his grasp.

"I mean HOW did you get my father to leave everything to you?" he said through clenched teeth. "What did you DO TO HIM?!" 

Elaine said nothing, but looked up at him through those fiery dark eyes. Eyes that screamed "guilty as charged."

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Next: What does Scott think Elaine did? Find out next chapter. Scott will do some investigation of his own. He'll become obsessed and start neglecting himself and his family. All this next chapter. PLEASE REVIEW.

OKAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! I KNOW......BORING! BUT THIS HAS A LOT MORE ACTION IN IT THAN LAST CHAPTER. CAN I GET 15 REVIEWS PLEASE? IF U WANT THE NEXT CHAPTER TOMORROW, OR ANYTIME SOON FOR THAT MATTER.....I WANT 15 REVIEWS!!!!! HAHAHAHA! AM I EVIL OR WHAT? Please review!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

p.s. I also have 3 short stories that I want to post pretty soon. 2 about Shelby (I think) and one about Juliet.If i get good reviews on these chapters...I'll post them within the next week since I'll be out ofschool.Happy Holidays.~Bee~


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